Eaten Alive (1976), co-written by Kim Henkle and directed by the magnificent Tobe Hooper, may possibly be better than "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." This film is one disturbed scene after another. This 89 minute gorefest centers on a broken-down southern hotel, its diabolical owner (Neville Brand) and a crocodile. Woe to the weary traveler who crosses their path! Our source was the remastered, widescreen edition DVD and we were damn happy to find it. Released after the cult classic Texas Chainsaw, this film secures the belief that Tobe Hooper may well be a god when it comes to horror films. Make sure you look for Marilyn Burns who played Sally Hardesty in the first Texas Chainsaw and the infamous Robert Englund. We have one question for Mr. Hooper, "How did you find these wonderful actors?" A must for your collection. ()

The Alien Agenda: Endangered Species (1997) is the 3rd in a series from Brimstone Productions. It opens with a tabloid reporter, Megan Cross (Debbie Rochon), who is pregnant by a man she suspects is cheating.  She comes to find out that a cheating boyfriend is the least of her problems. As the film progresses, Megan joins "The Complex" and sets out to stop the aliens from colonizing the earth. But, there are two sets of aliens...which one is truly the enemy? This 102 minute film starts with a lot of suspense and boasts a variety of well chosen set locations. The plot does wander a bit in the middle leaving you a bit bored until the final wrap up. But, Rochon is as lovely as she is talented and the film is sleek and professional.  Unfortunately this sci-fi film is out of stock. Still, you should check the order site often. Own it if possible! (½)

Straight out of the New Jersey trailer parks comes The Erotic Witch Project Collector's Edition DVD (1999). This pointless film had five story writers but no story whatsoever. The 77 minute "movie" is basically about three female friends who venture into the woods to investigate The Erotic Witch while an escaped monkey man runs around like an idiot. The Erotic Witch wastes no time in bombarding the girls with such gifts as dildos, blowup dolls and porno magazines, all things they "can use." This film is sure to be an embarrassment for director John Bacchus, or it should be. Chock full of the nastiest, flabbiest looking women ever seen, tons of implant scars and the fakest lesbian scenes ever produced. Stay away from this unless you're totally into terrible porno movies! Only one-half puff for somewhat of an original idea. (½)

Dirty Cop, No Donut (1999) claims to be a true, shockumentary about Gus Kimball, a wannabe officer of the law. This 80 minute film is not for the faint of heart nor the weak minded. Produced by Twisted Illusions, Inc., who claim to have smuggled it out of Kimball's trial, this film explores vigilante justice that is both hysterical and revolting. No one is safe, not the innocent nor the guilty! A few times during our viewing we were not sure what was truth and what was fiction. We lean heavily towards the fiction side, but the marketing and production surrounding this film are so well done, that at times we were watching with our mouths wide open in excitement as well as disgust. Our advice is to check out the site, check out this film, and then decide for yourself. Is it real? Or just a clever hoax? Volume 1 of 3, dare we watch more? ()

Vampires and other Stereotypes (1994), from the busy little bees over at Brimstone Productions, reminded us of The Evil Dead sagas. The story begins with our two heroes, Ivan and Harry, who fight evil on the streets of NYC. The story takes a bubbly twist as three sexy, young women join this 87 minute horror film. The unsuspecting women reluctantly follow their degenerate friend to a party. Unfortunately, nothing is what it seems and they team up with Harry and Ivan for a sordid journey into Hell. Brimstone is known for their slick productions and their stunning special effects, and this film lives up to those standards. They are also known for a multitude of plot twists that may leave you dizzy. Until the conclusion, you may think this film was poorly titled. But hold on, it all makes sense in the end! Re-released in the U.S. as "Hell's Belles." (½)

Y2K: Shut Down Detected (1999) comes to us from 1:1 Films. This film was intended to be a full feature, but due to monetary constraints was released as a 22 minute short. It  breaks our heart when we see talented filmmaking put under the restraints of a budget. Especially when Hollywood spends millions on CRAP! This collaboration from John Gonzales, Trent Shumway and Slava Siderman was extremely original and the production quality was superior to most films we have reviewed. The story may now be ridiculous to some, but it concerns a Y2K incompatibility problem that causes a biotech facility to undergo a monstrous evolution. Also included are extensive behind the scenes footage, that illustrate the dedication and brilliance these filmmakers posses. GIVE these GUYS some $$. They are worth the investment! (½)

Creature Realm: Demons Wake (1998) from Brimstone Productions chronicles two stories about the demons that plaque a young, dedicated wife and an elderly, disrespected woman. The first story, Possession is 9/10ths of the Law, was so compelling and well-written that we were howling with laughter and glued to the tube for the entire experience. It centers on the trial of a wife accused of ritually murdering her husband. But, what a plot! You just have to see for yourself! The second story, Dyer Straights, was less endearing, but who couldn't like a giant, murderous lint ball who terrorizes someone who could be your grandma! We just wondered where the plot was really going. All total, this collection runs 80 minutes and was written by David Rains and Michael Legge and directed by Tim Thomson and Michael Legge. ()

Moving Targets (1998) comes to us from a the Vermont-based company, Edgewood Studios. This is 90 minutes of energetic action packed with just as much humor. The story revolves around a corrupt overlord and his violent attempts to keep a computer disk out of the wrong hands, i.e. the cops. The screenplay was written by Brett Piper and once again he delivers well-rounded characters and a suspenseful story. Directed by David Giancola, the film boasts names like Linnea Quigley and Burt Ward. Even so, we found that Sue Ball stole the show as the wise-cracking, tougher than a witch's titty detective. We were informed this film was low-budget, but damn, they crash a train into a bus. Not exactly the low budget we're used to, but we won't be too hard on them. Look for more films from this hard-working company!  (½)

Wings of Desire (1987), a film by Wim Wenders, is an artitic masterpiece that will make even the most suicidal person stop and appreciate their life. If you've seen City of Angels, and liked it, well first off you are an IDIOT! Even so, you really need to see this movie. Frankly, hollywood's City of Angels is a direct rip-off of this german story. But, we can't be too harsh as they admit this. Wenders both wrote and directed this surreal tale that centers on an Angel who wants to be human. The cinematography is absoluetly stunning and it raises philosophical questions that will leave you dazed for hours. Peter Falk makes an appearance playing himself, well sort of. We can't give everything away. The dialogue is mostly German with English subtitles. Unfortunately, this video is out of print at the moment. So, if you see it GRAB IT! ()

Sandy Hook Lingerie Party Massacre (2000) comes to us from the infamous Mr. Creepo. This 90 minute horror was directed by Tim Beckley, who you might know from the film "Driller", and we must say it was so BAD it was entertaining. The story is basic, a group of strippers head for a weekend on the shore when low and behold they are terrorized by a psycho with a hook for a hand. Debbie Rochon stars and shows how versatile an actress she is. In other words, she can play trashy as well as glamorous! When watching this film, take it for what it is... a comedic ride into the world of weight challenged strippers and their clumsy attempts at being sexy. The killer was by far the highlight, he emerges onto the scene slowly and with a lot of mystery. Even Mr. Creepo makes an appearance, and shame on you for that blatant plug!! :)   ()

Necromaniac (2000) comes to us from Alternative Cinema. This film is the brain child of Ron Atkins and is the sequel to Schizophreniac: The Whore Mangler. Watch Harry and Rubberneck as they pursue their destiny of   "Fucking the Whole World in the Ass!". Ron Atkins is the most daring and controversial filmmaker in the business. John Giancaspro plays Harry; what a talented psycho! This film is shocking, revolting and down-right HILARIOUS! This is not for the easily offended, but then again neither is our company. Watch Harry mutilate, molest and abuse the poor citizens of Las Vegas. They take risks on the Las Vegas Strip and at Del Taco that would get anyone arrested. This film is sheer brilliance, in that no one else has the balls to do what they do. Ron Atkins IS the Screaming Stoner! Highly Recommended! () Also visit CTV Cutthroat Video for Ron Atkins and to order DVDs!

Barely Legal Lesbian Vampires: The Curse of Ed Wood (2000) is another sleazy offering from the twisted Mr. Creepo. Directed by Tim Swartz, this film is a painful excursion into fetish exploration. The only problem we had was the WOMEN! Geez, can't they be a little easier on the eyes? The reviewers at Screaming Stoner are somewhat involved in the Seattle fetish/Goth scene, and if this is what we had to look at, we would give it up! The film does have some interesting scenarios and good set locations, but THE WOMEN! This tale loosely surrounds Muffy the Vampire Slayer and her hunt for the head Vampiress, Carmilla. Unfortunately, and humorously, the curse of Ed Wood sets in and causes the filmmakers a lot of headaches! This beats Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space as the worst film ever. Isn't that what they wanted? :-)  ()

There's only one word that can sum up The Hideous Sun Demon (1959), crap! This nostalgic garbage is everything that could be hated about fifties filmmaking plus a whole lot more. The story centers around a scientist (played by Robert Clarke who also produced and directed) who manages to get himself in a situation where the sun turns him into an iguana-looking creature who runs about murdering people. The goriest thing about this nugget is when the idiotic "Sun Demon" squeezes a sewer rat. This 74 minute, black and white film is chock full of bad acting, bad cinematography and just about bad everything. This is, without a doubt, the worst film ever! Our suggestion is to find Mr. Clarke and string him up by his nuts for wasting the American people's time and money. Get the point? () Unavailable on video cassette.

All pre-2004 reviews written by Baal-Peor, HuntressX and Schwagmaster Bob

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