Copyright 1998-2004 Screaming Stoner Video || Last Update: 10/06/07 @ 4:20 PM

Terror Firmer (1999) by Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Studios is based on his own book, All I Needed to Know About Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger and stars such greats as Trent Haaga and Debbie Rochon. This semi-autobiographical nugget also stars some not-so greats like Ron Jeremy and even features Lloyd's own daughter Charlotte. The story centers around blind independent filmmaker Larry Benjamin (played by Lloyd) and his never-ending quest to "Make Some Art!" Only problem is pickle masturbation, shit eating, urinating on people, forced abortions, pointless vomiting, cum splattering and senseless murder can't be considered art unless offered in an artistic manner. Terror Firmer is far from art. It's rather an attempt to exploit family values more so than any previous offering from Tromaville. Supposedly taking place during a Toxic Avenger sequel shoot, the misfortunate crew discover that a mysterious "woman" is killing her way through members for no apparent reason. Why? Most likely because "it" wasn't part of the elitist faction that holds Lloyd up on a pedestal as some type of genius (like us). A far cry from the tolerable yet sickening charm of The Toxic Avenger or Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. we can't suggest Terror Firmer to anybody. This 98 minute embarrassment is also available on DVD as a director's cut featuring 15 additional minutes of stoner cruelty (seriously) - lucky world, huh? Yeah, we know Lloyd supposedly wrote the book but maybe that book needs to be revised. Stay away! ( )

Witchouse 3: Demon Fire (2001) by J.R. Bookwalter could very well be considered the best in the series due to its strong female cast. Such favorites as Debbie Rochon, Tanya Dempsey, Brinke Stevens and even the lovely Tina Krause are all in top form alongside the only male actor Paul Darrigo who plays the purportedly abusive Burke. Like the previous two in the series the witch known only as Lilith is resurrected for some good old fashioned revenge. The recently smacked-down Annie (Dempsey) shows up at the home of experimental filmmaker Stevie (Rochon) and Rose (Krause) and is offered to stay while they shoot a documentary proving the falsehood of witchcraft. Stevie convinces the other three girls that part of her documentary requires a summoning ceremony so they all unknowingly revive Lilith (splendidly played by Stevens). A long series of twists and turns take place as bodies start popping up until everyone both onscreen and off are completely clueless to the motives or identity of the real killer. Good job! The original music is supplied by Jon Greathouse (Dead & Rotting) and Witchouse 3 features cinematography by Danny Draven, the actor from Part 2 and director of our favorite Full Moon / Tempe joint film, Hell Asylum. Furthermore, Brinke's appearance as Lilith in this movie also favors that of her role as the Head Spectre in Hell Asylum which also stars Tanya Dempsey. Coincidence? Most likely. Overall, Witchouse 3 is a great 85 minute widescreen horror movie that should not be missed. Witches Burn! ()

NightScream (1997) by film director Noel Nosseck is an absolute chunk of media garbage. Supposedly having three writers this 87 minute television "thriller" really has no story at all. Rather it's a pointless "hypnoflick" centering around Drew Summers (or is that Laura Fairgate?) played by Candace Cameron Bure. Name sound familiar? Fans of the Full House television series all agree that The Stamos was the shizznit but Deej' Tanner (Cameron) was never cool nor could act. Sadly the same hold true here. Drew pops up from nowhere in a small town after driving there for no reason and feels she must investigate a murder of a nameless victim. She quickly enlists the help of the local Sheriff R.J Turnage (Bobby Hosea) who believes the silly girl for no apparent reason. Sound confusing? It's really not. It's just plain stupid. Even featuring acting work from Teri Garr (Maryjane) and Casper Van Dien (Sleepy Hollow) this horrible motion picture has managed to obtain a VHS pressing complete with 5 second gaps for the original commercial break cuts. Oh, boy. About as bad as other made-for-television "classics" such as Wes Craven's Don't Look Down and Thirst, our only advice is to stay a far away from this commercial brainwashing "movie" as humanly possible. NightScream Sucks! ( )

Monster Dog (1984) by Claudio Fragasso (Troll 2) is an Italian horror flick starring Alice Cooper by the man who worked alongside Bruno Mattei on such greats as Rats: Night of Terror and Hell of the Living Dead. An oftimes overlooked gem from the decade, this suspense musical chronicles the story of shock-rock star Vincent Raven (Cooper) and his unfortunate film crew that return after several years to Raven's hometown to shoot their latest rock video only to find that the abandoned house is terrorized by a flock of various mad dogs. As the cameras roll the evil hounds join forces and eventually Vince himself discovers his hairy past and joins the pack for the bloodfeast. Surprisingly well acted by all involved (especially Cooper) and pieced together in a style known to Spanish horror enthusiasts only the most brain-dead could not appreciate this tributary Euroflick. Complete with a somewhat-cheesy giant woodland monster dog and a cast of bad guys similar to The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, this 84 minute motion picture should not be missed by fans of either Werewolves or legendary glam-rocker Alice Cooper. Two little known aspects of Monster Dog (aka: Leviatán) are the Alan Parson's Project soundtrack yanked directly from the album Tales of Mystery And Imagination and two lesser known Alice Cooper tracks Identity Crisis and See Me In The Mirror which remained unreleased for fifteen years until the recent Life and Crimes Of Alice Cooper CD box set. Out of print but damn near a masterpiece! Monster Dog Rules! (½)

Living A Zombie Dream (1996) by Todd Reynolds is released by Sub Rosa Studios and is an extremely drawn-out atmospheric film with some of the most brutal and saddening murder scenes we've ever witnessed. The 69 minute dreamlike story follows "The Man" (Amon Elsey) who catches his kinky "Girlfriend" (Michelle White) getting banged by his "Brother" (Mike Smith) in a stuffy closet. After standing there like a chump and watching the festivities he decides to seek revenge by dropping his sibling off in a sketchy neighborhood that just so happens to have a psychopathic zombie (Frank Alexander) who speedily strings the adulterous man up in his basement and bleeds him into a stainless steel bucket. Revenge is sweet! The Man's dreams get twisted into nightmares when his brother returns as a zombie and must be looked after. We like Living A Zombie Dream and find its slow pace perfect for early morning viewing. It's perfectly assembled with pumping industrial sounds that play almost every four seconds throughout this film and successfully executes what other films of its type fail at  - a suspenseful plot (example: I, Zombie). Fans of either Sinyster or Ravage will also love this independent film as it features many of the same cast members including director Ronnie Sortor himself as the first hand-bitten victim. Reynolds himself starred as Robert in Ravage, pretty cool, huh? The gore effects are just right and the editing is original with streaking lines flowing between segments. Fact is, Zombie fans will not want to be caught without Living A Zombie Dream. Get this! ()

Goth (2003) by Brad Sykes totally sucks! As you might gather from the title this 85 minute eyesore is meant to explore the world of the gothic subculture and answer the question "What is Goth?" In this film Goth (Phoebe Dollar) is a hook-nosed wormy slut who lives in her van and randomly rapes and kills "squares" or "poser Goths" for no reason. When Goth meets the semi-attractive Chrissy (Laura Reilly) and her nutless boyfriend Boone (Dave Stann) inside a heavy metal nightclub named (you guessed it...) The Dungeon she offers them both a night they won't forget including the slaughter of prostitutes and futile group sex. Once the dim couple enter into Goth's self-driven gothmobile they're treated to some "White Light" that looks mysteriously like cocaine and taught the three rules of being a true Goth - #1) Embrace the darkness #2) Kill your fear and #3) Live for death. Make sense? Neither does this entire Brain Damage Films released movie that bills itself as done in "the hallucinatory style of Requiem For A Dream" but somehow manages not to utilize one Aronofsky technique neither in camerawork or editing. From the horrible acting to the senseless plot based on Chrissy exacting revenge on Goth for the murder of her sister years previous, this total nugget takes a great somewhat great premise and fails at accomplishing it. While Goth does feature some cool music from E-Race, Abney Park and Novocaine Halo and even includes videos and behind-the-scenes footage, this VHS is not worthy of our prestigious rating so instead we rate it at () Goth? Not!

Head (1968) by Bob Rafelson (Porn.com) was written by Jack Nicholson and captures 60's mock-band The Monkees at the most psychedelic (and downward spiraling) stage of their history. Covering every genre from western to comedy and all points in-between this 86 minute musical was assembled under the guidance of the finest marijuana and the theme of herb bleeds through perfectly. Containing heavy rock songs by The Monkees comparable to that of The Beatles: Yellow Submarine and adding in a twist of Frank Zappa for good measure this head- flick (pun intended) is a must-see motion picture experience for herb-friendly movie fans. Chock full of stock footage of Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi and Ronald Reagan with cameos by the ganja-crazy Dennis Hopper, Toni Basil, Victor Mature, Teri Garr, Annette Funicello and countless others, this motion picture should not be missed, especially by fans of the 60's television comedy, like us. More or less a story about the worlds most plastic band (played by The Monkees) and how they get caught in the vicious circle of their own comedy skits. Bringing out footage of Peter Tork, Davy Jones, Micky Dolenz and Michael Nesmith crashing the mayor's party, swimming with mermaids, walking around snow-capped mountains and in lush deep forests, beating the tar out of Coke machines and more, this is The Monkees only movie. The tracks Porpoise Song, Circle Sky and Can You Dig It should be obtained and played at maximum volume. That is, unless you get caught in that box - rock on! Also known as The Monkees Head. This is history. (½)

Witchouse II: Blood Coven (2000) by J.R. Bookwalter is a 77 minute stand-alone sequel to David DeCoteau's Witchouse that finds Lilith (Ariauna Albright) resurrected as a scientist who unfortunately sets up her lab in a blue-tinted old mansion where tons of witches were murdered years previous. Shot in Romania like the Bloodstone series, this sequel plays out much better than it's predecessor showcasing a much more polished script beginning with a camcorder Blair Witch spoof and then launching into a full scale 35mm production. Witchouse II tells the story of a work crew that finds four unmarked graves and rather than continue the construction of their shopping mall they call in Professor Sparrow (Albright) and her sidekicks Norman (Nicholas Lanier) and Stephanie (Elizabeth Hobgood) to investigate the rotting corpses. It's not long before Lilith, who was burned at the stake centuries ago is back alongside her coven of glowing red-eyed minions ready to kick things into chaos. While the weakest aspect of this horror movie would be the dry acting in the hands of the main cast, it's a should-see movie, especially for fans of the old Full Moon / Tempe merger films. Look for cameos by film directors Jeff Burr (Eddie Presley) as "the guy on sidewalk" and Danny Draven (Hell Asylum) as the chummy Dez. This widescreen VHS also comes with the sleepy music video for 7 Months musical track Start It Over and a 65 minute Making-Of Witchouse 2: Dispelling Illusions bonus that chronicles the history of Alternative Cinema Magazine founder J.R. Bookwalter and could well be the best extra of its type to date. The Witch is Back! ()