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Kitty Killers (2001) is a different kind of action film. Directed by Todd Reynolds (Living A Zombie Dream) and a lot like a cross between Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs and Ian Fleming's Goldfinger comes this 71 minute poetical movie that begins with a business deal gone sour between the crippled (almost Mr. Burns-like) Mr. Hill (Dan Rowland) and a group of contractors. After hurling insults at one another, Hill calls in the continually eating hitman Richards (Ronnie Sortor) and his comrades and soon so many squibs start gushing that Buddha would blush! Three businessmen are spared and quickly duct taped into chairs with bags placed over their heads under the advice of the sadistic and over-spiritual "Brother" (Frank Alexander). Aside from continually urging the unfortunate survivors into committing suicide to find "the road to true enlightenment" and carving games of tic-tac-toe in their chest for entertainment, they make hourly bathroom runs under the leadership of the sadistic and psychopathic Gates (Tim Ryans). Paybacks are a bitch! The part of the vulnerable Kitty is played by the appealing Michelle White who we also enjoyed in Living A Zombie Dream and her role in Kitty Killers was superior to that of the previous. Miss Pussy (Galore?) is played by Tina Johnson and Sanchez is director Todd Reynolds himself. Outside of overbearing foul language on the part of Mr. Hill and somewhat extended dialogue scenes, Reynolds is able to do the same that he did in Living A Zombie Dream. That is, he gives his viewers rough images that remain long after the initial viewing. With smooth crane shots and a perfect no-budget feel, Kitty Killers should not be missed. Awesome. (½)

Prison Of The Dead (2000) by David DeCoteau (Witchouse) is quite an eyesore. It's not that it's a bad concept just a poorly executed one. The film starts out with techno-based opening credits and quickly disintegrates into total rubbish due to inferior acting, overall bad direction and cheesy effects. The story centers around the arrogant Kristof (Patrick Flood) who leeches off of his father's "bullshit rag" and throws money at all his problems. It seems that "Blood Prison" was built by Puritans who would torture heretics and witches on the property and eventually bury them in the lower regions of the ancient reformatory. Kristof decides to trick his friends into entering the dilapidated structure by staging a fake funeral for an old friend and instead offers the yuppie group the opportunity to play some Parker Brothers Ouija, smoke some ganja (which they never show), and possibly get laid in the process. From out of nowhere the zombies rise from beneath the jail one by one for over 30 minutes while horrible CGI graphics stain the already embarrassing film. Sound fun? It's not. Prison Of The Dead is a 73 minute widescreen horror movie that takes Amando de Ossorio's "Templar Dead" zombies and bastardize them by covering their eyes with an unpleasant red glow, why? We felt the zombie effects (which are essentially weedy masks) were the only strong point of this Full Moon Video nightmare and they even screwed that up. Also featuring the acting "talents" of Jeff Peterson, Samuel Page, Kim Ryan, Alicia Arden and several others that never went on to anything. Wonder why? Stay away! ()

Carnage Road (2000) by Massimiliano Cerchi at Rounds Entertainment was cleverly repackaged with a shoddy introduction by Scott Leff of Brain Damage Films and renamed Carnage: The Legend of Quiltface for VHS release. Who is Quiltface you ask? Well, he has the weaponry of Jason Voorhees, the clothing style of Michael Myers, features resembling that of Leatherface and Freddy Kruger's twisted sense of humor. Sadly, Quiltface isn't able to develop a monstrous screen presence like his inspirations rather falls short as an eradicator by coming across as a totally comical lunatic. The plot centers around a group of four unfortunate college photographers led by the sissy Robert (Dean Paul / TITanic 2000) who just happen to venture into "the beautiful desert" to take pictures of one another and in the process become target for Quiltface's Bar-B-Que. While the main cast of the totally hot (but snotty) Linda (Molinee Dawn), the chubby Amy (Melissa Brown) and the nerdy Mike (Sean Wing) leave little to be desired, the roles of the psychopathic Quiltface (played by Quiltface himself) and the Beer-gutted "Old Man" (Mike Paulie) are exceptional. Also, without the comic relief of The Driver (director Mack Hail of Mr. Ice Cream Man), The Legend Of Quilface would have been total crap. Mack carries most of the film by himself and kind of reminds us of Hank The Anus (Billy Dynamite) from Escape From The Dead. Overall, Carnage Road is a raw no-budget motion picture similar in ways to Necropolis Awakened that should be watched but don't expect anything groundbreaking as you do! Just above average. ()

Birth Rite (2003) by Devin Hamilton (Bleed) centers around the strangely attractive Rebecca (Natalie Anne Sutherland) and her continual encounters with the warlock Roman (Danny Wolske of Bleed). Roman pops in and out of Becky's day and hovers in mid-air until eventually he tells her that she is the "Grande Dame" of his particular coven and her adoptive parents Mona and Bill Proctor (played by Brinke Stevens and Larry Dirk) are an obstacle in her future role as Witch Queen extraordinaire. After Roman leaves Rebecca with an amulet that gives her powers over hula-hoops and volleyballs she quickly goes upstairs to her so-called "brother's" room and looses her cherry "because she was horny." Roman reappears and tells her that she must murder her sibling lover Alex (Kyle Patrick) to regain her powers so the "newborn bad witch Becky" goes on a killing spree until her half-sister Erin (played by the sultry Laura Nativo, also of Bleed) steps in to do battle ala Ginger Snaps style! Also stars Julie Strain. A surprisingly good offering from Full Moon Video's Shadow Films label we were impressed with the creative story and contemporary styling of Birth Rite. While the lead actor Natalie Sutherland takes some getting used to and at times this movie plays like an episode of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps, we were quickly entranced by this 90 minute widescreen horror production. Certainly not one of the best movies in existence dealing with the topic of Witches but one that is worthy of note nonetheless. Check it out! ()

Sinyster (1997) by Ronnie Sortor is a total masterpiece of independent motion picture cinema. Weaving together the best elements from a crime-filled action adventure and the goriest of horror movies, this outstanding 71 minute film is unlike any other. The story begins Reservoir Dogs style with three mobsters in a car and one named Rick (Sortor) lying in a mangled bloody mess in the backseat. It seems that Simon (Steve Kelley) and Alan (J. Gregory Dollarhide) pulled an inside robbery resulting in the death of several people and are driving to a "safe-house" to wait for Lisa (Marcia Carol Miller-Dollarhide) and the eventual getaway car. Arriving at the not-so-safe building, the remaining two mobsters bury Rick in a shallow grave and shack up inside the haunted house. Not long afterwards, axe-wielding Aaron (Lei Renniks of Ravage) shows up and takes the movie into the most brutal and dark moments we've ever witnessed. The final moments of the film rest on the shoulders of just Simon and Aaron and have a most unexpected twist! Having an intense atmosphere highlighted by the perfectly accentual and spaced-out music of Clark Carter and featuring bleached out print colors with a completely original script, Sinyster is in a class of its own. Michelle White plays the unfortunate Pile Girl and co-writer Todd Reynolds (Living A Zombie Dream) plays the one-armed zombie. Sinyster has grown to be a favorite around here and also proves that good films don't come from huge budgets, they come from creative minds! Get This Movie! ()

The Whispering (1994) by Gregory Gieras is not an altogether bad flick, just an amateurish one. This so-called horror flick attempts to take another route by making a statement about people's personal demons who just happen to be a whispering woman (played by Mette Holt) who floats about. She works her way into her victims' minds by preying on their psychological vulnerabilities and leads them to commit suicide in the process. Sadly, ex-cop Peter Ransket (Leif Garrett) is the only person on earth who can see the wicked wraith and he quickly destroys her by using a mirror. This 88 minute bland motion picture begins with a rather attentive premise and then bombards the viewer with too much needless "junkage" and unnecessary fodder. While we found the acting was well done for the most part this is one goreless film that ran a bit too long for our tastes. Aside from not having any substantial splatter effects or super-mysterious plot to warrant the R rating or even consider this movie a thriller, it relies on several extended sex scenes between balding rocker Garrett and several meaningless side characters. Running a lot like a made-for-television weekend movie (erotic scenes aside) The Whispering is a well-done but futile concept. The most memorable moment from this film would be when high school lass Lisa Smyths (Leslie Danon) says to Lief, who is about 30 years old, "Would you like to fuck me?" very noticeably, then he says "excuse me?" and she further states, "I said, would you like a cup of tea?" Make any sense? Neither does this movie. This One's On You. ()

The Bonesetter (2003) by Brett Kelly is a different type of "horror" flick with far too numerous faults to mention and an incoherent storyline being the worst infraction of all. While good films focus on the visual craft and attempt to show the audience the story taking place, this 72 minute nugget attempts to tell the audience what should be seen. Taking the (tricky) suspense route and failing in the process due to the disinterested cast of actors within. For example: the first hour builds up a futile story about a librarian (Brett Kelly) who happens to notice children coming up missing in the sleepy rain town of Munster Cheese (or was that Tromaville?). Being an extra-caring father that ignores his daughter whenever she asks to speak to him and instead leaves her in the care of an even more neglectful babysitter Mindy (Anne-Marie Frigon) so he can go out on a date with Madeline (Sherry Thurig), a woman who shows up out of nowhere (and we never find out why). It seems she's hot on the trail of the odd Bonesetter (Jody Haucke), a wraith that reappears every few years to snatch (never shown, mind you) children to keep under his basement in unspoiled care. Eventually Brett shows the Bonesetter's blackened face after making his audience wait over an hour and by this point we didn't even care that he looked like a schmuck. Sadly, The Bonesetter is being released August 31, 2004 by Tempe Video on their Splatter Rampage label (Midnight Skater) which is a feat within itself considering the movie has absolutely no gore to speak of. The only thing keeping us from giving The Bonesetter a are the two actresses Sherry Thurig and Tara Rheaume who appear to be the only cast interested in the effort and the terrific music contained within. Seriously, save your money on this movie and buy the soundtrack instead! No-Risk Sissy Stuff. ()

Lethal Force (2002) by Sir Alvin D. Ecarma of Divergent Thinking Productions is hands-down one of the most innovative efforts we've seen come from the independent martial arts genre. Taking elements of old-school Kung-Fu movies and mixing in lots of 70's style funk and flair, this work-in-progress edition VHS [Version 3.0] centers around both Savitch (played by the remarkable Cash Flagg, Jr.) and Jack Carter (Hollywood bad-ass Frank Prather). When Jack's son is abducted by evil Minnesotan hitmen they use the small child as leverage to force Jack to deliver the dry-witted Savitch over into their hands. Even though Minnesota has some of the most ruthless killers known to man, Savitch is a force to be reckoned with and is not taken down easily! He brings with him lots of gunplay, whoop-ass, and martial art chaos! With the help of Rita the cop (Pat Williams) the two assassins reclaim the abducted child and cheat death in the process numerous times. The soundtrack by Gerard K. Marino is just right and in tune with the whole motion picture. Careful attention has been paid to sound by Klinton S. Spilsbury and this 70 minute gem is well-edited by Ronald Edwin Hunkler. One of the coolest aspects of Lethal Force is that Sir Alvin has taken the most comical aspects of the 70's low-budget genre (like pimps, cheesy one-liners, shag, psychedelic go-dancing, Shriners, etc.) and has capitalized upon them making them into genuinely funny concepts. Not only that, he adds some of his own humorous twist and the punch-lines are delivered every time! Also comes with two different trailers for Lethal Force. Highly Recommended! (½)

The Gate To The Mind's I (1994) is a totally computer-generated head-flick set to the music of the amazing Thomas Dolby! This warped gem takes the viewer from the creation of earth to a future society set in the deepest parts of outer space and never stops to take a break in the process. Well, somewhat. Considering the hundreds of people that worked separately to make this film a reality it plays relatively seamless with a few exceptions during major transitions. Bombarding the viewer with thousands of different images from dancing parrots in top hats to full-scale Star Wars-inspired spaceship battle scenes, this 52 minute "Computer Animation Odyssey" has been a long-time favorite 'round here. Distributed by Miramar Productions and stocked predominantly by Radio Shack the strongest aspect of this film is the breathtaking music from Dolby himself with a variety of singers and strongly Enigma influenced Gregorian chants (Who didn't enjoy Sadeness from MCMXC a.D.?). If one takes the time to get completely absorbed in this tremendously herb-friendly and well-maturing presentation they just might notice that One of our submarines...is missing...tonight. We find the most enjoyable clips from this entire motion picture are the Egyptian segments with graceful hands performing a moonlight dance between a Pharaoh and his forbidden love but considering the many different styles of animation and different moods represented in this film, we guess that all of our readers can appreciate this one. Digitized Greatness. ()